(This is in response to Hillary's blog post. I am so sorry that it took me SO long to reply, but it made me too sad at the time. I would have linked to it, but I could not find it...)
I must admit that I am one of those people who gives away bits of her heart. But not in a "romantic" way really. I also (because of my dyslexia) have a really good/over active imagination, and that just does not help much in this aspect of life.
It's just that I attach to people, babies, (and things) REALLY easily. I imagination that I am much better friends with people than I guess we really are in real life.
And then I am hurt/sad/depressed & hurt when I find that I was the last to hear something, or was left out of an event or outing.
I tend to forgive people over, and over again...till I feel like I am bleeding too much and can't take it anymore. Then I step back for awhile, to try to heal.
I know that people don't mean to hurt me, that's just something that happens. I don't like it, and often wish that I could just shut down & end up pushing people away, and then that makes things worse.
Mom says that I should talk to people about this, to tell them when I am hurt, but I never do, because they aren't doing it on purpose. I feel like it's my fault for being so...so sensitive (?), is that the word I am looking for?
Am I the only one in the world like this? I sure feel like it.
You should strive to never give your heart away (a crush/infatuation/falling in love kind of way), until you find THE ONE. (...and then let him have it!)
I try to be very careful how I act around guys (or what I put/say on my FB/blog), because I don't want to cause someone to stumble, and also because it's the "Golden Rule" thing- if I don't want someone to hurt me, then I should be really careful to not hurt someone else.
Also, I don't know who may be watching- younger siblings, or friends that are looking to me as a example, or what if my intended (unbeknownst to me!) is watching? What is he thinking about me now that I said/acted/did that??? I don't know about you but I have enough faults with out adding more, that could be so easily avoided.
~I will confess that I have had 1 really major crush/infatuation for this one guy (I did not really know him, & he did not know I existed~ just a guy that my brothers told me that they liked), when I was your age...and I do regret it. A lot. My thoughts still haunt me. Sometimes I am afraid that I'll never be the same again.
(I did talk to my Mom about it, but it was a very humbling thing that I went through, that was totally unnecessary.)
PS: I am now really glad that I did not marry him.~ (please don't try to guess who...he most likely is not your brother)
Does this make any sense? I don't think that I am off my rocker....
Please forgive me, I don't what to be "preachy", I just want to try to help other girls along the road of life.