Tuesday, April 26, 2011

I am tired.

I am so tired of this GAPS diet. I can't really see any changes for the better.

Starting at the end of December (and for about 1 & 1/2 months), I was doing a Candida diet, and I could see a lot of changes. Things like a lot more energy, much less joint pain, easier cycle, much less depression, & some detoxing!

Then I switched to the GAPS diet, and for the most part those good side effects have continued on. But I don't think that I have the same energy, or at least it's not increasing, and I am no longer detoxing. (The things that I was doing for detoxing and not allowed on GAPS- I have no idea why not...)

The sad thing: for whatever reason, I have stopped digesting eggs. For a (long) while I was not digesting them properly, so I would avoid them, but then they are required on this GAPS diet, and I was eating them every day, and digesting them fine! =) But not any more. =(

The only new & good side effect I have seen is weight loss. I am not sure how much- somewhere between 10 and 18LBs I think. Don't worry, I do not look like a concentration camp kid- I lost the fat from places that needed to loose it. (I was not trying to loose anything- it just happened. I was eating good food every 2 hours or so- LOTS of good fats.)

Also at the beginning of my new diet regimen, I began skin brushing 2 times a day, and some easy exercises/stretches every morning.

But still, I am tired-

I am tired of eating the funny food. But I guess that the food is not so funny- how I have to prepare it is. I am soooo tired of boiled-to-death vegetables. I am a very bad girl and eat raw green beans, peas, carrots, and radishes from time to time.
I sneak nuts. Nibbles of meat that is not prepared properly.

I am tired of being tired.

I am tired of melting down, and driving Mom crazy.

I am tired of not being diligent, or driven to do my daily tasks.

I am tired of being a strange selfish kind of girl, who feels trapped- a strange kid who wants to be an adult, but does not know how to make the change.

I am tired of being awkward.

I know that true beauty comes from within- but I don't feel very good inside right now.

I am tired of being an unhelpful not very good daughter.

Tired of being left behind...I need a niche in life.


Anonymous said...

Adrienne dear,
I am so sorry you are hurting, is there anything I can do to help?
For the record, no matter what you think about yourself, many people love you and think you are a wonderful, extremly thoughtful, and kind friend. And from what I have seen, you are the kind of daughter every parent dreams of. Keep fighting the good fight, dear friend.
Sarah H.

McKee Family said...

I love you honey and I'm sorry I'm not more patient with you. :-(

You WILL find your "niche". Or rather it will find you, but then it may change as He brings different people and projects to you as you travel on this journey. It certainly has for me. Now I'm back where I started, where I need to be for now.

I'm so glad I have you to share the journey.

EsGrace Schatte said...

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. -Galatians 6:9

I have felt like I've been in a 'rut' before...but I don't think I can give advice on the subject. :) but I will say that reading the Word every day is a HUGE blessing!

I'll be praying for you!!!