Monday, February 19, 2018

My Movie List (break out): Old Fashioned

Why do I like the movie "Old Fashioned" so much??? 
Hmmm...the following was hard for me to try to explain to Rik Swartzwelder in person, but maybe I can do a better job explaining to you, dear reader, in print: 
Now I'd say that I (in some ways) understand/identify Old Fashioned's characters/plots, more than most any other movie/book/show. 
And that I think of myself more as a “Clay” than an “Amber”. Not that I had a rough past, or was a crazy God-less youth, but that:
~ I love just about anything old/vintage/retro. 
~ I love all the vintage stuff in this movie- even the little grocery & diner and seeing the things that we own, like Aunt Zella's tea pot.
~ I love Aunt Zella.
~ I love Psalm 118:24
~ He (Clay) is older and so am I. (I'm enjoying movies with older main characters- don't have a lot of patience for the 'young and dumb' right now!)
~ I'm more quiet and reserved, and don't know what to do with the “Ambers” in my life. (I watch the movie and say: “I can't believe her!”)
~ Waiting for “Mr. Right”. While Clay was waiting 9 years for “Mrs. Right”, I've been waiting for 14-16 years already (or more- depending on how you count)....I understand waiting.
~ Being “old fashioned” in my ideals: including not going with someone I couldn't see myself with.  Not being alone, not kissing, etc...someone I was not married/engaged to.
~ I decided that the over all flavor of the movie is Presbyterian. I don't know if that is true, but that's what I decided. =) 
~ Probably more if I thought about it longer!

Amber amazes me- I would like to be a little like her- especially if I needed to be.   I like her no-fear, can-do attitude.

I love (and think that it is interesting and fun) to have a movie that is so similar in so many ways to me and my quiet is exciting and encouraging to me that in even just one movie the Hero and Heroine have a good, respectful, loving friendship/ things right, learn and grow (as individuals & couple) AND live happily ever after. 

Mom and I got to meet Rik at the Attic Film Festival in April 2017
 A bit about the book:
I started reading the OF book in 2016 I think, but stopped after a few chapters, because I have a hard time reading things when I can't quite see how they apply to me...but after meeting and getting to talk to Rik Swartzwelder
in April 2017, I decided that I should give it another go.
(FYI: Ric is a really neat guy, and gave me some great words of encouragement, and I'm so glad we met.)
I'm glad that I did- it's not just about Dating- it's about relationships in all of life.
I have never liked the idea of Dating, and have never in all my life been on a Date...I guess at my age, that could change, but at this time I don't see a reason to! =)
I am making myself read this book AND answer the questions (thinking in a whole of life way) - as best I can, because I really want to read and learn what I can- tucking away bits to remember later on...should I be blessed with a man of my own.

My plan:
1) read it and answer the questions.(still not done)
2) to re-read it and make notes- knowing me it could be another year before that happened!

THE BEST chapter so far is the one on Respect.
My original Movie List can be found HERE


Anonymous said...

I have found that girls who are most likely to end up alone (despite wishing to be married) are the ones who grew up with great emphasis on modesty, proper demeanor, and a focus on "being discreet" and "being a lady." Those girls end up so quiet, so discreet, so modest that no man ever notices them. Or a man will notice them and be turned off. It is too much of a challenge, when there are open, friendly, fun girls available. It's not the girl's fault. But if you want to meet a potential husband, you need to discard those rules. Don't worry, I am sure you will not become promiscuous or fast!

Unfortunately, some parents are so worried about their daughter being "unladylike" that they over-teach modesty, and their girls end up alone.

I think you need to start questioning some of the rules you were raised with. Instead of "waiting" for a husband, go out and get yourself involved in the community, and find activities your own pleasure not for the purpose of finding someone. And don't worry about "dating" someone or deciding whether you could "see yourself with him." That kind of thinking puts a lot of pressure on you and him. Just meet people, talk to them, have fun.

When you set yourself rules like, "No kissing till I"m married" or whatever, that puts a heavy burden on every interaction with the opposite sex. The end result -- there's no danger of anyone wanting to break your rule! That's because you appear quieter and less interesting to others because they sense a reserve, your worry about what you "can and can't do". Instead, be open and friendly and willing to see where life takes you.

And really, we both know that if you went on a date, you wouldn't do anything bad. So trust yourself and start making your own rules. Once you make your own rules and live happily within them, others will be drawn to your self-confidence and happiness.

You seem like a very nice person (and you are very pretty!) Good luck!

Linda Wiley said...

Thank you, Adrienne, for sharing your story and thoughts on Old Fashioned. In my three years of following the success of this movie and getting to know many of the movie's fans, it's been very interesting to hear the many ways this movie has touched and affected others. My personal experience is that OF made me want to be a better person and it was a good reminder that we have all experienced some degree of brokenness in our lives. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to meet you in Austin.

Ylva S. said...

I loved the Old Fashioned Way :) <3 even though not everything in there could be applied to my situation. I'm sure you'll find something useful and inspiring in there, too =)

Ric Swartzwelder said...

Such an honor meeting you an your mom in Austin, Adrienne! Thanks so much for sharing this. Means more than you know... blessings...

McKee Family said...

Dear Anonymous commenter,
Some people who can't understand why she is “waiting” for a husband don't have a grasp on the Sovereignty of God. If He'd wanted her to hang out her shingle and say “looking for a husband” (or go out to find one) He'd have put that on HER heart...just as He has others...He obviously has a different way for her. Like she wrote, she isn't an Amber, or Marianne or Kitty, etc. Her personality IS more reserved and that is the way GOD made her. Each of us is unique, why is that not understood or okay in this day and age? Why is it assumed or pushed that everyone should be like someone else thinks they should be/do/think etc.?? It takes courage to have your own rules and convictions and stick to them as she does. (And she's had a lot of years to consider these things and form her own opinions.) That should be respected and honored not ridiculed and pitied.

Most people don't know that there have been several possibilities that she chose not to encourage...for various reasons. Most people don't know that she's had the opportunity to meet/rub shoulders/work with thousands of people and certainly hundreds of men who were all's not like she's been hiding in a closet!!! And she certainly is not a shrinking violet trying to be invisible (well, only on occasion!)...many of those have been brother type friends and she interacts with them as such...playful, open and friendly and ready for a hug. Her father and I certainly trust her to “be alone” with someone she is seeing...she isn't a teenager, but a mature young woman and she trusts herself, too. We also know that she wouldn't want to be alone with a guy until she felt comfortable with that/with could take one hour, one day, one week, one month, etc....only she knows how long that might be and what she'll feel comfortable with doing whether it be kissing etc. But SHE decided that she won't be in that position or situation unless the guy is someone she likes & is hoping to marry. She isn't interested in casual dating, relationships that aren't going anywhere or whatever. When it's time it will happen. With the right guy and she'll know it.

That's where she is coming from. At least right now. Who, but God, knows what tomorrow will bring?

I hope this comes across graciously as intended
Adrienne's mom

Anonymous said...

Adrienne's mom,

Your reply was certainly gracious. May I ask, if your daughter is a "mature young woman", then why does her mother answer for her?

I hear what you are saying, though. Here's a thought, though. "Casual dating" can lead to something that is far more serious. My own marriage of 30 years began with casual dating. It helped us decide that we wanted to go further.

Don't rule it out. You may need to date "casually" while you decide if you want to date "intentionally."

Finally, there are a lot of godly men who would be very reluctant to start "intentional dating" with someone they hardly know. There's all those expectations, on both sides. Godly men don't want to hurt a young woman, and "intentional dating" makes that a very real possibility. "Casual dating". . . or the "getting to know you phase", as the Bates family calls it. . . is a method that is much more accessible to many godly young men. They don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, or "get too involved" before they know if they want to.

Casual dating is not promiscuity. It is getting to know a lot of nice, godly men. The "getting to know you" phase.

Adrienne said...

Dear Anonymous,
This post was SUPPOSED to be some reasons I liked the movie "Old Fashioned".

My mother did not answer for me. She was merely trying to explain to you that I am different. We (you and I) are not made from the same mold. I'm guessing that we DO NOT have the same concerns or goals in life. What does my life hold? I don't know- only God does.

Seeing as you are the stranger here & we are not friends, I feel you are overstepping. Thank you for your input and concern for my future life.

However, I do not intend to publish any more of your comments.